Adam Carolla: Who NOT to Vote For!


Adam Carolla isn’t going to tell you who to vote for. But he is going to tell you who NOT to vote for. And in a time when candidates running for office promise the moon, one of America’s funniest comedians shares a few tips about how to spot the candidate that you should run from.

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Well I’m not here to tell you who to vote for. But I am here to tell you who not to vote for. Don’t vote for anyone who says, “I’ll fight for you.” Because that person is full of crap and has no intention of not only fighting for you, he doesn’t know who you are. He or she is just moving on to the next town where they can point at the next sap and say, “I’ll fight for you.”

I’m so tired of these politicians and their town hall meetings when somebody stands up and says, “I’m pregnant with quadruplets. I’ve been put on academic probation at the junior college. And my milkman hates my guts. What are you going to do for me?”

And my answer is, “Nothing. But here’s the good news. We live in the United States. You can do something for you. Feel free to get a job and fight to keep it.”

Let me give you a really good example of people doing too much for others and us coming apart at the seams as a society. You guys remember when you were kids and you’d fake an illness and you’d stay home from school, and you’d sit there on your sofa and you’d watch daytime TV?

“Hey! I’m Wally Thorpe. School of Trucking! You can get into trucking too! Be a long haul trucker! Get your license! Hit the open road! Make a good living!”

“Learn typewriter repair.”

“Learn toaster repair.”

Remember all those commercials? Every single commercial was geared to somebody who was out of work but who wanted to work. Why? Well it’s Tuesday. It’s noon. Who’s going to be home watching this TV show? People who are out of work. What do people who are out of work want to do? They want to get to work, thus they learn to drive an 18-wheeler.

Now look at every commercial that’s on during daytime TV.

“Wrongfully let go by an employer?”

“Slip and fall in a supermarket?”

“You can sue. Hi, I’m attorney Lance Bassman, and I’ll fight for you.”

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