Stop Putting the Word “Free” in Quotes, You Sound Like an Idiot


In the latest announcement by President Obama, in regards to free tuition for community college enrollees, all of the republicans and most of the right leaning libertarians have apparently pooped out the left hemispheres of their brains. Like a wildfire, all across the INTERNET people have apparently lost the ability to write the word “free” without putting quotes around it. Now there are certainly times to put quotes around the word “free”, such as a reference to the word itself, but when using it in a sentence such as, “I like free bacon” or “I went to college for free”, no quotes are necessary.

Instead of putting “free” in quotes like it’s some kind of joke, why not write out what it really is, “free of cost to the student”. Use your big girl or boy words, children. Most recently, critic Julie Borowski went as far as too say, “The vast majority college professors are not going to work for free.” No shit, Sherlock Holmes. I don’t believe that there is a single person out there who seriously would even begin to entertain the thought that it would happen that way. This is a stupid argument handed down from the RNC to FreedomWorks to their army of “independent” (see what I did there) INTERNET critics.

By simply putting quotes around “free” you’ve turned your entire argument into a straw-man argument. There is no way that I can fathom someone being a political blogger or vlogger for any small stretch of time and not be fully aware of what a straw-man argument is at this point. These are the same people who look at the poor and disadvantaged and say, “They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps”. But now the disenfranchised are being given bootstraps to pull themselves up with, these same people cry “You’re putting my bootstrap store out of business!” Well, that’s because your bootstrap store sucks, your bootstraps break, and no one can afford them but the privileged class.

This is America. The place where dreams come true and they guy at the bottom can rise all the way to the top. It’s time to start delivering what is being advertised, or it’s time to change the ad.

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Punk Rock circus star Ken "The King" Poirier is currently working on theories of philosophy and system design.