Top Ten Ways to Talk to a Progressive

  1. Find a point of agreement i.e., “Oh! You’re for gun control! So am I! I think it’s extremely important for gun owners to know how to control their weapons. “
  2. Talk to them like adults. Many progressive ideas are based on kindergarten reasoning like: “Everyone should have a nice house, let’s buy everyone a nice house!” “You don’t want a baby? That’s okay, we’ll just make the baby go away.” “The president is like our teacher, he just wants the best for all the kids.” But remember, they are grown human beings.
  3. Invoke Thomas Jefferson (the founder of the democrat party). “My favorite democrat was Thomas Jefferson who said, ‘The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as they are injurious to others.’”
  4. Bring them back to Reason. Inevitably the Progressive will turn to the realm of Feelings. Gently persuade them to look at the argument reasonably: “I would feel better too if every child in America had three hot meals a day and a warm place to sleep every night, but rationally, is that possible?”
  5. Reverse the argument. Most progressives see themselves as altruistic. Ask, “How much of your paycheck should go to people in need?” “50%? Great! So you would have no problem writing a check for your favorite charity for half your wages on payday!”
  6. Muh roads! I concede this point (although I think privatization is a good idea). “I’ll give you government control of the roads, you give me deregulation of the free market system and no involvement in foreign wars.”
  7. Avoid derogatory terms. We all know they are statists and libtards, but they really don’t like those names.
  8. How much is enough? The progressive only sees the answer to this as “more.” Stay on point, “How much should a teacher make? A lunch lady? A janitor? How about an administrator? How about a member of the Board of Education?” Show them that more taxes do not equate to better service.
  9. Lead them gently in the way of voluntary participation. Show them that rich people are not the beasts they perceive. Explain that the wealthiest people are the greatest philanthropists, and the greatest statists are the least.
  10. Smoke a joint. If all else fails, and you live in Colorado or Washington, fire up a spliff and forget your differences. Elsewhere, beer also works.

About Author

Dave Jones has been an active Libertarian for 30 years. He currently resides in Northern California, Murica's regulationland with his lovely mate Diane. He is currently working toward liberating the Northern California region from the State through the State of Jefferson movement.